A letter from Spain

Ola!  I am Augusto Cabrón from Putada, Spain.

Miguel yesterday

We have a big donkey called Miguel, who we like to play with on the beach a lot. He loves being ridden by the young men behind the dunes. Sometimes he comes back to my house and when I’m not looking he rummages through my drawers.

We feed him a special donkey diet of Vomito and Sickación. On festival days, after we have slaughtered a goat and dumped its body outside the local supermarket, we cook paella for the whole family, and Miguel joins us at the table. He loves seafood but is also fond of fruit. He particularly likes to nibble at my wife’s melons, which are nice and ripe at this time of year.  I know this because I was feeling them only last night.

Miguel has a horse friend called Concepción.  She is a girl horse.  She must be strong because the other day I saw her giving Miguel a piggy-back ride.  He was quite pleased after this and later that evening he nuzzled up to me and played with my castanets.

Last year we all went on holiday to Australia.  And yes – Miguel came, too!  We stayed in a nice stable (the owner, Mr. Wagga-Wagga-effin-Poms, did not allow Miguel in his hotel).  We had a lovely time, and were greatly honoured when on the last night our host showed us his didgeridoo, which Miguel had great fun playing with.

Next year we are going to the USA.  Howdy, folks!  I can’t wait to go to California and relax in a San Francisco park with a fag.  Miguel is looking forward to it as well, but I can’t understand why he gets so excited when I tell him about all the big American asses.

Adios amigos!

Augusto