A letter from Greenland


An iceberg yesterday

I am Meettit from Greenland. Today I got back from my allotment. Ha, ha! Of course we don’t have allotments here in Greenland, except if you want to grow ice cream. That is an old joke here in Greenland.

We have lots of jokes here. For instance, did you hear about the vegetarian polar bear who raided an allotment in Upernavik but only found ice cream? Ha, ha! Or how about the Inuit who bought an ice cream van but the business failed because everyone grows their own? Ha, ha! We are funny here in Greenland, no?

Anyway, I was telling you about my allotment which is in New Jersey, USA. It’s easy to reach, you know. Lots of us have allotments there. You see, we catch the first iceberg south on a Monday and catch the last whale north on a Friday. It’s quite a long journey but on the way there we have plenty to drink and on the way back we have plenty to eat.

One time my friend Nobhedh caught a killer whale back by mistake. Ha, ha! He won’t be doing any cultivating for some time! Another friend, Deekhedh, accidentally boarded a northbound iceberg. As far as we know he’s currently giving the Russian navy target practice in the Barents Sea. Ha, ha!

Until next time.